Sweet Surrender

Surrender. Let silence have you. And if you find you are still swimming on the surface of the ocean, let go and sink into the depths of love. ♥ ~~

–Kar Kirpa Sahib

My enlightened friend Juliet posted this on Facebook today, and I thought (as I think 100 times a day), "What a coincidence! I was JUST thinking about this!" (see previous blog post from two days ago). All about going deep not wide, sinking into my life instead of hydroplaning on the surface. Am I silent? I pull out my fuschia yoga mat and turn on my 101 Yoga Poses on my iPhone. Standing tall (do I have a choice?) with my hands in front me, palms together, elbows up, I take a few deep breaths and look out the window at the wind blowing through the leaves of our silver maple in our backyard. I become the tree, rooted, deep, letting the wind of life move through my branches, moving me but not breaking me. I think, 'is this corny?' I don't know, but it makes sense. I put my focus in my belly, my trunk, and breathe my energy deep down through the bottoms of my feet. I'm not the most grounded person I know. Hah. Understatement much? That is my desire - to be connected not only deeply to the earth, but to every single other being in this whole Universe, every 'thing', every particle, molecule. Why? Because I believe we ARE all One - we are made up of that same 'thing' whatever that is - that golden sparkle of Divinity, maybe? I don't know what it IS, really, I just know I feel it and believe it.

So if that's true, then there IS no separation, anywhere, anytime. If I'm angry at THAT person, I'm angry at something in myself. I feel my reality shifting and my brain pulls and stretches with the possibilities. There's no one out there. There's just me and a kazillion googleplex of mirrors of me reflecting me back to me. And you back to you. Ow - my brain is stretching again, so I step back from my soaring reflections and feel myself present in this moment. I feel the fullness of my being, the richness, the honor of being able to inhabit this beautiful, healthy body. Our bodies are temples of our souls? Is that biblical? It has new meaning for me.

I have said many times that I give up. People have asked me that what means, and I answer, "I don't know." It usually means life has become too frenetic, too stressful, too much, and I want it to change. But that's not surrender. Surrender isn't the white flag that says I give up, but the peace flag that says, "I am here fully and I understand." I stop my pushing, my conniving, plotting, planning. I stop my bullshit and my judging, my justifying and my explanations. Just stop it. Close my eyes, lean back, and just fall into the warm waters of surrender. Let them carry me downstream to the Ocean. No more fighting. There was never anything to fight about in the first place. I made it all up. I thought it was real. It isn't. THIS is real. The wind through the trees, my breath through my nose, my toes wriggling off the end of the chair, the smile on my face. The rest? Fluff and stuff. I want real. That's all.